Hemo

So Gess is bleeding again. It started yesterday (Saturday). He had a big coughing fit and it started. It stopped pretty quickly after, but continued in spurts through out the day. He prescribed himself bed rest for the rest of the weekend, and has been pretty good about keeping to that--even when his friend had an extra football ticket.

The bleeding scares me. We have been down that road many, many times before. But it seems different now. When I met him, he bled a lot. He would go in when the bleeding wouldn't stop. Sometimes there would be a lot of blood. Once he a 2-liter bottle nearly half way en route to the hospital. He has had 7 or 8 embolizations--so many I have lost count. But the last one is what scares the crap out of me. It was October 2004. He bled so much. They finally decided to do an embolization. I was out home, trying to get some sleep (on his orders), when I got a call--he was bleeding and they were taking him down to IR for an embolization. I got dressed and to the hospital as quickly as I could, but he was gone by the time I arrived. I still remember the way the room looked. Blood on the white sheets. Blood on the floor. Lots in a basin that he was using for a receptacle. Blood, way too much blood.

I don't know how long the procedure lasted--but it was a long time. It was a really difficult procedure--his lungs being so damaged from all of the prior embolizations. But he made it out. He went to the ICU for recovery. This part I knew how to deal with. He lays down for 2 hours so that the access point in his leg can clot off. I check the bandage near his groin every 10 minutes or so to make sure there was no bleeding. We were about 2 minutes from being released from ICU when it started again. More bleeding. Lots of blood. He had to stay in the ICU. Later--I don't know how many hours or even days--he had another huge bled--it wouldn't stop. They had to vent him to preserve the airway.

He looked so scared. He asked me if his life insurance was in order. He went to sleep. For 3 days.

Since then he hasn't had very many bleeds--and the only ones are small. But this weekend scares me. More bleeding that "usual". More frequently. He says that he won't be able to make it through another bleed like that "one." So what if the "one" comes again?