Here's a little about my brother. He was married for the first time when he was 16 years old. They had to go to Idaho to get married because even with parental consent, 16 year-olds can't get married in Washington. The girl was 20-something. She was pregnant. Baby number one. They weren't together for that long. I am not sure what happened. But they divorced, and baby-mama #1 has 2 or 3 more kids. Surprisingly kid #1 seems to be really well behaved and adjusted. Not sure how that happened...but maybe it is the same phenomena that happened to me, that got me out the white-trash world the rest of my family is stuck in. Oh, yeah, I am not exaggerating, but that is for another blog.
So, I didn't really talk to the bro for awhile, he was off doing his thing, I was in law school, etc. Enter baby-mama #2. She seemed nice to me, but everyone else in the family hated her. I don't know what the deal was. She was pregnant when I met her and they were engaged. She was going to school to be a teacher. Baby is born, I get a million pictures in the mail, all is good. Then, she calls me one night hysterical saying that my brother left her and that she was pregnant again and didn't know what to do. My mom said that she wasn't pregnant and she was just crazy, etc., etc.
Maybe a couple of months ago my brother mentions something about going to see his "boys." So I find out that baby-mama #2 was pregnant and there is another baby. So...now there are 3.
My brother moves for another girl, loses his job, etc. A mess. Next thing I know, he moves again....for (surprise!) another girl. Now, she is pregnant and they are getting married.
WTF? Haven't you heard of a condom? Or the pill? HELLLOOOO! How do you think that you are EVER going to have any money if you are paying child support to at least 2 different baby-mamas? And if this doesn't work out, make that 3.
He is 24 years old. Oh, and he never graduated from high school...did I forget to mention that?
It is no secret that I want to have kids, and that under the circumstances I probably will not. Gess's health is not that good, and we all know that with CF it will just get worse. Not the most cheery thought, but the reality. And reality is what I must consider when thinking about a child's life. So. Let me get this straight. I graduated from high school. Then went to college and graduated. Then I married the guy I love. My "first" and only. I went to law school. I graduated. I am a stud. I have been married (to the same guy) for 10 frickin' years. But I can't have children? Yet, this 24 year old high school dropout gets baby #4?? What??? How does this make any sense at all?
I am mostly okay with the no kids things. At least some days. In fact, today was a fine day. Up until the 2 minute chat session I had with my brother. And now I am sitting here wanting to scream and cry and eat a whole chocolate cake. Stupid frickin' CF and stupid frickin' irresponsible people that can have kids at any moment. Grrrr.
5 comments:
Lisa, I'm sorry. That really sucks. For what it's worth, I want you to know I admire the grace by which you deal with all of this. (((HUGS)))
life is so ridiculous like that, isn't it? UGH. so annoying. i'm sorry that you have to deal with this :(
It's one thing to make a mistake when you're young, but to keep repeating it over and over is unacceptable. Those poor kids!
Stacey
I hope you treated yourself to 'some' chocolate if not a whole cake.
My sis has two children by two ex husbands and I'm so nervous there will be a 3rd someday because she has a new boyfriend. I love my sister, I love my nieces but my heart goes out for those little ones every day. Just pray for the children - that they'll be as studly as you when they grow up. :)
Ouch Lisa. My heart really breaks for you. I am sorry that you have to go through this crap. My brother has not actually fathered any children but has full custody of his ex-girlfriends little girl, and her older brother lives with another guy and his family who are not biologically related either. The skank mother is out having more kids with other misc men. She is a pathological liar, thief, drug addict, etc etc.
Not fair.
Have a piece of chocolate cake, I won't tell.
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