Another rough week

It has been another rough week. We did receive confirmation that Gessner (and by proxy me) had H1N1. Luckily, he seemed to get through that okay, but now has a cold or something else going on. The biggest issue that is going on is a mental/emotional battle that he is facing. He is tired of being sick and it has been really hard. I don't know how to help and am finding myself incredibly frustrated in this whole thing. I guess it is related to his frustration, but he is not doing much by way of treatment right now. He is supposed to be on IV cefaphime and inhaled Tobi and he is not doing either. I actually got really angry about this yesterday and yelled about it when he woke me up in the middle of the night. He doesn't have an answer as to why he is doing this and it is frustrating. I want him to be healthy--not just for himself, but for me too. This whole year has been so draining on both of us and now it is getting worse. I am not sure when he is going to come out of this or if he is or what to do. Simply put, it is incredibly frustrating. I know that he is frustrated and I certainly am as well.

Last weekend the brother of one of my closest friends was killed in a car accident. It is a difficult situation because of a strained relationship and family drama. So, I have been worried about her.

Then today I got a message from my aunt saying that my dad was back in the hospital and not doing well. He is dehydrated and has lost too much weight. She said in her message that it wasn't looking very good (in case we wanted to come). So, I came over to Yakima tonight. I didn't let Gess come with me because he is too sick. He doesn't need to be in the hospital to get exposed to more germs, and really my dad doesn't need to be exposed to the germs that Gess has. It was hard to leave knowing that Gess is struggling, but I felt like I needed to come here and Gess supported that decision.

Apparently my dad is fighting and says that he will walk out of the hospital, so that is a good sign. He was able to eat a little today and they are hydrating him. They are going to put in a feeding tube on Monday and he will have his last radiation treatment then as well. If he can gain 5 pounds, he will be able to get his chemo treatment on Wednesday. I am not sure what else or if any of that will change. I got into town too late to go by the hospital, so I will have to wait until the morning to get more information.

My plan is to do family stuff here tomorrow (my mother is also depressed, so I need to talk to her) and then head back to Seattle on Sunday morning. We are supposed to have a big group photo shoot with friends, which I am looking forward to. Then on Monday, I will go to the funeral to support my friend and then come back to Yakima if necessary. **sigh** I'm tired just thinking about all of this!