Tuesday, January 27, 2009

Wow, I haven't posted on this blog this year. Not because nothing has happened...in fact, I am not sure exactly why. Maybe I am just not wanting to talk about CF. 2008 was a rough year for us in a lot of ways. Gess was sick, too sick. He was IV antibiotics probably as much as he was off. I think that he only felt good, really good, for about a week, and that was while we were in Belize on vacation. It seems like the infections are coming more frequently and not getting all the way better. I don't know what is going on, but whatever it is I don't like it.

Gess started off the new year on IVs--that was a 3 week round. He has been off for about a week or so, and now he (and I) have the stomach flu or something. He is worse than I am. We literally slept the entire day yesterday. Today has been better, but we both stayed home. In general it just sucks.

There are days when I feel like CF is a huge wedge between us. I think about it way too much. I feel myself pulling away from him. I think about death. I hate it. I hate how it sucks away life, how it tries to overshadow the goodness of life. It is so hard to focus on the little things like just sitting on the couch, snuggling with the dog because CF is always there, always staring over our shoulder. Ughhhh...I hate being such a downer. Just one of those days. Blahhh

2 comments:

Piper said...

Lisa, I totally get where you're coming from. It's scary when the bad days start to equal, or even outnumber, the good. Sometimes you just want a break. I hope you and Gess both start feeling better soon, and I'll be sending as many good healthy vibes your way as I can spare ;)

jordysmom said...

Ugh! I hope you both are feeling better soon.

Stacey