Friday, May 15, 2009


I am making baby shower invitations and part of me just wants to cry.  I mean, I am happy for my friend.  But every day I think about not being able to have kids.  I hate that CF takes that away from me--it is going to take my husband and also takes this dream away.  I will never have a baby shower (I didn't even have a wedding shower, but that is another story).  I will never been able to feel a baby inside me.  I will never be able to decorate a nursery or hear someone call me "mommy."  And you know what, that just sucks.  It is not fair, and quite frankly, I hate it.  

1 comment:

Amy said...

It does suck! I have taken a very long time to get to a point where I can accept that having babies is not in the cards for me. I think part of me is so obsessed with making baby hats (crochet) because of this fact. I still pine sometimes when I hear about someone else pregnant and I can't help but get teary eyed when someone talks so lovingly about their new baby. But I've realized that there are other things that can make me happy. And that sometimes just being a part of someone's journey is ALMOST as awesome as feeling it yourself.

And perhaps someday for you, you CAN have that feeling (yeah I get annoyed when people tell me this too haha). Crazy idea...have you ever thought about being a surrogate to someone who can't carry their own baby? I am sure giving the child up after birth is ridiculously hard but you would be able to feel and know the joys of pregnancy. Told you wacked idea haha!