Today was the first day that I felt like "I" was back again--if only for a bit. A friend saw me and said that I was "perky." The mood didn't last the entire day, but I definitely felt better. It is a process...a journey. One step. One moment.
Tuesday, August 5, 2008
I feel like I am coming out of my shell a bit today. When something like a hospitalization happens, I draw into myself. Part of it if self-preservation. I am like the cartoon turtle that springs into his shell when danger comes near. When Gess is sick, I do what I need to do to get through that situation. And I find that when I do that I tend to isolate myself. I really thought about it this week and with some other posts that I wrote, and some of the isolation related to CF is self-imposed. I think that part of it is because if I see people, I have to explain what is going on and what is happening and how I am doing, etc. The simple fact of the matter is that sometimes I do not want to think about it. If I am not standing in the hospital room, I don't want to think about it. I want to zone out--and act of self-preservation--and that means pulling away from friends.
Posted by Lisa at 10:26 PM