He has mentioned transplant and we are starting the "talking about it" process. We have a clinic appointment in two weeks and that should be the main topic of discussion. That whole prospect scares the crap out of me. I'm scared that I won't be enough through that process. I already feel like I am not enough--and I think that Gess feels that way too--when he is semi-healthy, so how will I possibly be able enough through that process?
And then of course there is the question of whether he will even be a good candidate for transplant. His liver will probably not survive a lung transplant and his lungs would not likely survive a liver transplant...or at the least, the transplant teams would probably not want those odds. So that leaves us with liver AND lungs. There have been 37 in the U.S. according to UNOS. None at the UW. Should we go to another center? Move? Do I need to start studying for some other state's bar exam?
Should I have hope? Hope scares me. Should I stop thinking about it? I wish I could. So, I guess I will just have to try to distract myself until we can talk to the doctors and see how that goes.