With this there are the two sides, the physical and the emotional. He is going through a lot of both right now and I am watching, unable to do anything. And at the same time I am struggling myself. Today when it was just one of those days when I was tired of everything being so difficult. He has been especially short and cranky--probably a product of not feeling well and also trying to deal with it mentally, and there are days when I just feel like I am at the end of my rope with that, and today was one of those days. Does that make me a bad person? A bad wife?
Tuesday, November 11, 2008
Another rough one
We just had another rough discussion...He actually said the words "I am dying." I don't know what is going on with his body; what is happening that he isn't telling me. He did say that his lungs hurt. He has been bleeding off and on as well. I think that he is feeling the progression of the disease and scared. It is so hard to be so intimately affected by this but at the same time to be clueless. I mean I have been through ups and downs with this for 10 years. I recognize the difference in coughs and other signs that something is veering off course, but I don't know what it is like to struggle to breathe. I don't know what is like to have pain grip my lungs.
Posted by Lisa at 9:07 PM