Monday, November 10, 2008

Rough night

Last night was a rough night. I am still entirely sure what happened. I was upstairs doing homework and G called me down stairs. When I got there he was sitting on the couch with Beauty and said "Beauty is dying," and then started to cry. That was my cue to sit down and hug him and assure him that things were okay. He doesn't cry--he has the strong adversion to it. So, if he does--it really gets my attention (this is in contrast to me, who cries a lot).

I never know what I am supposed to say at times like these. I asked him why he thought that, and he said something about her being really thirsty and not eating in the same manner she always does. With the water--we started using a bowl that is really small compared to the mondo one we used to it looks like she is drinking a lot because we have to refill it all the time (big bowl is back too, not sure why G hasn't been using it). So, I am confident that she is not really thirsty. And with the food, I have no idea what he is talking about. She still will eat anything that you put in front of her and try to get more if she think that she can. But, I figured now was not the time to point these things out, so I didn't.

I just told him that Beauty seems very happy...and as if on cue she ran over and grabbed her new favorite toy and brought it over to play with him.  After a bit he said to Beauty, "You and I are alike, we are both dying and don't want others to know."  

Man...I don't know what is going on with him!  I just sat with him for while and he calmed down.  There are times when CF is so hard.  I can't even imagine what is going through his head when he thinks about these things, and I don't know what, if anything, I can do to help.  I wish that I could take just a little bit of the pain away from him.  


jordysmom said...

So sorry it was such a rough night for you guys. CF seems to just jump out and smack you in the face once in a while. Even if there's not a lot going on health wise, it's there, and the reality of it gets to you sometimes.

You obviously did take some of Gess' discomfort away just by being there when he called you. That's something anyway. (((((((((hugs)))))))))))


Tina said...

Hey Lisa
Wow maybe he's venting. It's safe for him to cry and be frightened over Beauty and not himself. I don't know. Guys are hard to figure out. Glad to see Beauty is doing well though.
I just want you to know that I hear you and totally empathize with you. Shawn and I go through the same shite. It's tough but the love is so rewarding. Hang in there, I'm thinking of you!

CowTown said...

Hugs. I wonder if that was his way of opening up to you about his feelings regarding cf.

I agree it can really jump out and slap you (spouse and cfer) at any time, and in odd ways.