Tuesday, September 2, 2008

Bad CF day

Today has been a bad day on the CF front...nothing "big", but I know that it was a rough day for Gess. He told me that he has been bleeding pretty regularly. Not huge amounts, but bleeding none the less. He feels like crap. And he admitted that he is afraid that things are on the decline and afraid that he is going to have limit activities and such. He is afraid to really "try" to fight the CF because if it doesn't work, then what is left...

I don't know what to say to him. All I can say is we will do it and do what we can do to make now the best it can be. But man is it hard!

I hate fucking CF!


Jennifer said...

That sucks, Lisa. I have never thought about it from that point of view before...I guess being afraid to try and then failing is a fear even in the health world, and I just never realized it. I guess my answer to him would be, at least you know that you did all you could, which is all anyone can claim, you know?

Hugs to both of you. It's never easy going through the bad CF patches.

Amy said...


I hate CF too!


CowTown said...

It's not easy at all. More hugs to you and Gess.

Tina said...

Woman...I hear you. This is a hard time, no two ways about it. Shawn's CF began to impact his daily living last summer.

It's very strange but the exact sentiment/attitude you described Gess having, not wanting to fight it because he might fail despite all his efforts, is the same as Shawn held. I couldn't explain it to anyone, nobody understood. I understand.
In retrospect I wish I had pushed Shawn harder in some way, I didn't because I felt bad for him. Everything was so hard for him and I felt like I was picking on him, he was getting depressed, his own mortality was suddenly in his face. I don't know the right way to go about helping them to want to fight their hardest but I wish I did. Mostly I just cried. My heart was always aching for him, I didn't want to lose him. I didn't want to lose "us". It was a very difficult time for us. Now that he has lost so much, NOW he is motivated to fight.
I wish I knew what to tell you, i don't but maybe some of our CF friends can help us out here.
Hmmm, I'll start a thread!
"Help us CF wives, help us, help them !"

Sara and Dustin said...

I am so sorry he is not feeling well:( I will keep you guys in my thoughts and yes i agree - CF SUCKS!!!!!